Week 3, the blog changes tone.

Reader, you are owly in your pursuit of the voles of knowledge herein. Bloody delicious!!!

Wash your hands, potential host for whatever virus! Or stab yourself in the eye.

Hey, stabbing myself in the eye reminds me of week 3 of my 8 fantasy leagues. If you're paying attention, (and if you're reading this, you are) you're aware that there are a huge number of injuries and malperformers clogging rosters thus far this season. Cole Hamels, Matt Holliday, David Wright, Jose Reyes, Josh Hamilton, Lance Berkman, Prince Fielder, Josh Beckett, Daisuke Matsuzaka and many others are KILLING US. Sorry, you have to stick with these guys. The day you bench them, they'll go off, I promise. Last year, C.C. Sabathia's ERA did not dip under 7.00 last year until May 9th. And he ended up with an ERA of 2.70 for the entire year. Sure, being traded from the AL to the NL Central didn't hurt, but he was nigh untouchable from then on. Moral of the story? Stick with these bums, take the hit early, because you'll clean HOUSE from here on.

Stupid World Baseball Classic.

However, you may know some people in your league with particularly panicky personalities who might be willing to deal one of these uber stars for someone who is OVERperforming...ergo, your Yadier Molina's, Adam Laroche's, Zack Grienke's, and so on. I'm sure you're not getting Cole Hamels for Yadier Molina, but you could put a package together if you're really into messing with people and don't have the focus or malevolence to write the conficker virus (up yours, whoever that is).

Overall record in my leagues thus far, W-L wise, is 12-12. This blog may take on a 'mediocre fantasy performer's lament' vibe before too long, but I'll remain optimistic that the above types will start to rake soon (a few of them are notoriously slow starters), and I'll ride a mad streak through May and be very well set up by the all-star break. Now go stone a teabagger. Kidding.

Yankees-related discussion:

YOU SUCK! AND YOU'RE PAYING MORE THAN ANYONE TO DO SO! AGAIN!!!!!

Just heard that one of the people who transferred the Swine Flu virus down in Mexico was a census taker, going door-to-door. What a smart little thing a virus is.