Disaster! Week 2! Hippie New Year, by the way

Well, Mozart and Hendrix died young, and I lost all of my important (money) leagues this week. Ugh-you never like that. Typically, you'll win some and lose some, but this week I didn't win ANY. I'm writing because it happens. And you might want to blow it up, trade everyone for new people, make a splash or do something because your spleen hurts and you can't sleep. Here's what I recommend.

1. Stop watching the numbers. They climb higher when you're not watching, I swear. Just give yourself a day (after you set your lineups).

2. Create some reasonable excuses for your team's giant turd burger. 'The Cardinals were rained out yesterday, if Ludwick, Molina, and Duncan all went 3-5 with HR's, I'd have evened the score'...which dovetails nicely with 'They'll have to play two sometime soon, and I'll have a dozen more AB's to look forward to then'. See? Hooray!

3. You ARE allowed to make a move or two. You can't wait until week 10 to make a change. For instance, I had no idea that Dexter Fowler, Seth Smith and Ian Stewart would be in the mix in the OF for the Rox. Apparently, neither did Spilly, who has struck out an uncharacteristic 83 times in just 29 AB's this year. It appears that his time as a part-timer has made him slow on the draw, and he needs something to chaw. But all he's getting is junk, and no cheese. So his hankerings go unquenched. Have I adequately referenced some shared childhood experience of ours? Maybe watching the rookie beeotches hit the balls with their bats will help him to do the same. I still predict good things for the man, but there are too many Blue Jays on the waiver wire to justify carrying a fifth outfielder who isn't producing. Which leads me to the point of this entry-

Pay attention and be patient. You don't need to read all the box scores for this one (although I do this, mainly because I am addicted to baseball numbers). You can track the best and worst fifteen free agents in your league in just a couple of minutes. If you have more time, you can check out who's been hot over the past week. See who else in your league is freaking out and vulture someone who began the season in a slump. Not only is this smart, but it'll give you EXCELLENT shit-talking artilliary down the road if it works out.

Also, rookies that are carrying teams will fall off, veterans who are slumping will pick up, and all your draft prep will pan out. Hitters rarely go 0-40. 0-20's are not uncommon, but typically guys will make something happen after twenty fruitless AB's. Don't get caught benching a guy who hasn't done anything the past couple games (see Jacoby Ellsbury and David Ortiz today, 4/20), because your bench will routinely outperform your starters. It never works the other way.

Favorite thing in the league so far-

The Marlins with the lowest payroll own the best record in the majors. That means everyone on the team is worth looking at because they are young, virtually unknown, and likely available on your waiver wire. Also, Josh Johnson outpitched Johan Santana. Johan has already made Josh Johnson's whole salary this year. I just love this.

Now go visit some trees