Week 1 DOWN y'all

So after week 1, what have we learned?

-Ryan Spillborghs has what they call 'doubles power'. But, his K/BB ration is 6:1. Very unSpilly.
He's starting in most of my leagues again this week, but I think guys with 'doubles power' make more 'outs' than guys with 'home run power'. Still love him, though.

-Emilio Bonifacio-after reading that someone thinks he looks the roadrunner when he's on the bases, AND he now has the rare 2B/3B stamp of eligibility, it's time to ride this streak of his in all Roto/H2H leagues. This is old news.

-Denard Span is the man. Get him, keep him, and when Mauer's back on May 1st, watch his run totals pile up as high as that stupid trash bag they've got in right field in Minnesoty.

-Josh Johnson is good at pitching. Get him. Trade for him. Do something! I think the Marlins are going to surprise this year, possibly netting themselves some post-season action. I would like nothing better than to see a bunch of league-minimum guys, retreads, rehabbers, and guys who haven't lived up to their billing outperform the Mets and Phillies. Throw batteries at THAT, jerks.

-Jay Bruce is MAAD overrated. Everyone's got huge Bruce boners, but I just don't see it. He's young, sure. He came out of the gate mashing last year. Yes, I know. He's a middle-of-the-order monster to be. Just as soon as he stops swinging (as my dad would say) 'from his asshole' at pitches out of the zone. He ding-donged last night, but I'm not buying. I'm selling. If I could get Josh Johnson for Jay Bruce, I'd do it IMMEDIATELY. Even in a keeper league where I could have Jay Bruce for five years, or until he stopped having to whack it between AB's to keep his shit straight. Even then.

-Ryan Howard. Holy shit, if he's all 2006 Ryan Howard, where he's all 'oooh, I'm a .300 hitter who can go 50-150'. GET HIM. Howard's owners still have doubts so play on them..Hell, get guys that hit NEAR him...Raul Ibanez, Jayson Werth...because he's going to inflate their stats too. The Phils are going to be a blast to watch miss the playoffs, because before Brad Lidge and Ryan Madson, there are nine question marks.

Join me in glaring with folded arms at Cole Hamels.

Good for you's (GFY's):

Good for you, Jordan Schafer. Ding donging in your MLB debut at bat. GFY.

Good for you, Miguel Cabrera, people aren't scared that you'll be the youngest, highest paid, type 2 diabetic in Detroit. You worked out this winter. GFY.

Good for you, Manny. You've apparently found the strongest grass in LA. No small task. 7 games into your contract with your new team, and you're talking about Cleveland. Too bad you'll miss Lebron, because he'll be in New York. GFY.

Good for you, Mark Texiera. Your wrist hurts. That's what happens when you yank the ownership of every team in the AL East. Go Yanks. GFY.

Good for you, Chien-Ming Wang. Your ERA is still under 30. GFY.